What to do when you find out you’re pregnant.
I didn’t have the reaction I thought I would when I found out I was pregnant. As a 24-year-old working a $12/hour contract job planning or even thinking about having a child was the last thing on my to do list. I felt scared and overwhelmed. The “Omg this is such a magical moment” came much later for me, I didn’t start feeling excited till I entered into my second trimester. But let’s backtrack a bit, I’m going to be blunt, my first initial reaction was that I needed to get an abortion. Now before you start thinking I’m a terrible person for making that my option #1 please hear me out.
At the time I found out the news I was working 60 hours a week barely scraping by to make ends meet, and me and my boyfriend of five years had decided to take a step back from the relationship. We had been together for so long we had stopped communicating our needs in the relationship. So I was not in a good head space so my first thought was I need to take care of this without anyone finding out.
I made an appointment at Planned Parenthood (not an abortion appointment, just a consultation to figure out all my options). At the appointment they did an ultrasound and I got to hear the heartbeat. At that point I broke down into tears because hearing the heartbeat made me realize that, that little heartbeat was my little peanut, I helped create that. The doctor held my hand and said “Things are going to be ok” She didn’t try to sway me in one direction or the other, she was real with me. That this decision was my choice.
I took my ultrasound picture and weighted my options for another week. At this point I decided to tell my boyfriend because for me to make this decision and not even tell him was completely unfair. Plus, I was completely overwhelmed and had to tell someone cause I felt like I was going to explode keeping all of this inside. He had the reaction that I thought he would, cause it was the same as mine. He didn’t know how we were going to be able to afford a child.
After a couple weeks of discussing everything and lots of tears we decided we needed to schedule a real doctor’s appointment and find out more about the progress of the baby. We went to the doctor and got another ultrasound, and heard the heartbeat again. Seeing him break down into tears after hearing the heartbeat we both knew that we couldn’t abort, and that we needed to tell our families. But we were scared of the stipulation that we are going to have a child out of wed lock.
Both of us grew up with a strict catholic background. That marriage had to happen before children. So of course, we were scared to tell them. We weren’t scared that they would scream or never talk to us again. It was the fact that we felt they would be disappointed in our decision. We told our parent’s, and to our surprise, they were over the moon excited for us. They weren’t mad at all. They had lots of questions but they never got mad. And for me that made keeping the baby that much easier.
Having the support from both our families, and not thinking abortion was our only option made us realize that we could make this work. And I think that’s important for first time expecting mothers. You do have options, and it’s important that you explore all those options.
In this post, I’m going to share with you important steps to take after having a positive pregnancy test. You may feel a little lost right now, but I’m hoping this will help ease your mind a little bit.
Find a Doctor
This can be hard if you’re new in town and don’t want people to know you’re pregnant yet. But do your research, shop around for an OB by getting on some local Facebook groups and searching “OB/GYN”. Read the reviews that people have wrote, the research the mentioned OB/midwife. You can also check out a local magazine and see if there’s a doctor featured in it. If you have trusted friends, you can also ask them – if there’s one thing other moms like to talk about, it’s pretty much anything pregnancy/baby related.
Start Popping the Vitamins
Whether you decide to keep it or not it’s important that you start taking prenatal vitamins because it can take you a couple weeks to make a final decision, and if you do decide to keep it, you don’t want your little one to be behind in development. I choose to go with One-A-Day Women’s Prenatal Vitamins. They have all the vitamins you need like DHA and Folic Acid, but make sure to take them with a small snack so your stomach doesn’t get upset.
Tell Your Family
Depending on your situation this step can be difficult but even if you are unsure of what you are going to do it’s important to let them know what’s going on. They may have advice that will be helpful in the decision-making process. And you’ll feel much better because keeping it all bottled up is not a healthy way to go about things…trust me!
Invest in Maternity Pants
Listen, don’t fight this one. Don’t try to be the person that tries to wear their jeans till they literally can’t breathe. I’m still able to wear my jeans yet but I can’t button them so I tie a small ponytail around the button hole and loop it over the button. But I know I won’t be able to do this for long so I will need to invest in some pants soon.
If you’re worried about the price tag on a pair of these some great places to find affordable jeans are your local Goodwill, Old Navy, and Kohl’s. You’ll be able to find a cute pair that won’t break the bank.
Buy Maternity Panties
Maternity Panties are a huge game changer the first time around. When you’re pregnant things well…change. Parts start moving, things are widening, and before you know it, things like your reliable underwear are cutting into you making life miserable. Maternity panties fit like a baby growing glove. They aren’t like maternity pants a few weeks after you pop the baby out you’ll be ready to slip back into your old undies.
Figure out the Food Situation
Everyone is different during pregnancy, you may ave morning sickness right away or it may come later on. Thankfully for me, I never really got morning sickness but the random spurts of nausea were there. Maybe you’ll be lucky like me and never have to go through morning sickness but in case you aren’t, here’s a list of food I always have on hand in case it does hit.
Bagels and cream cheese
Quinoa Energy Balls
Pretzels or Saltine crackers
Start some Secret Pinterest Boards
Unless you want to let the cat out of the bag this early, make yourself a secret Pinterest Board, and start going to town with all things baby. You can pin good ideas for the nursery, baby registry, and there are lots of helpful articles that will help make things easier too.
I welcome any and all comment, please share your stories in the comments!